


to not wasting second chances

by Immortal_Dreams



Series: The Other 51 [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Castiel Needs a Hug (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, First Kiss, Fix-It, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, as of right now, jack brings cas back, they get one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27579293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immortal_Dreams/pseuds/Immortal_Dreams
Summary: If he could have just one more moment with Cas, just enough time to tell himI love you too,Dean would give up everything for that.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: The Other 51 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925527
Comments: 6
Kudos: 134





	to not wasting second chances

**Author's Note:**

> I really didn't think I'd ever write SPN fanfic again, but here we are. I just binged the second half of s14 and all of s15 in like four days and this is the result.

They won. They _actually_ did it. Dean still has a hard time believing it, even as he watches all the people Jack brought back go about their days. For the first time in their whole lives, they’re more than just puppets in Chuck’s game. They’re finally free.

He stands beside his brother, the one person who’s been there since the start, watching Jack disappear in a flash of light. Dean understands the kid can’t stay, he does. It doesn’t make this any easier. This moment feels like the end of a story and Dean _doesn’t want it to end._

“Goodbye, Jack,” Sam says.

Dean stares at the point he vanished from. He can’t look away and he’s not sure he’s even trying. Sam eventually walks back to the car, taking the passenger seat. He doesn’t call for Dean, or drag him with him. For that, Dean’s grateful. He needs some time. Hell, he needs more than just some time. He needs days, weeks, and he doesn’t even know if that will be enough. 

They’ve lost so much, and yeah, they’ve won now, defeated the ultimate villain. Defeated god. But Dean can’t forget what they lost. Jack brought back everyone Chuck snapped out of existence, but…well, there’s someone who didn’t die because of Chuck. Someone who sacrificed himself for the world, for _him_. Cas went to the empty, _willingly_ , to save him. And Dean didn’t even get the chance to process what Cas confessed just before he did. He didn’t get to tell him he loved him too. That he still loves him. 

All those years, Dean was too blind to see it. Fuck, he’s loved Cas for a decade and it took his angel sacrificing himself for him to admit it. Dean would have kept thinking the bond between him and Cas was only platonic for the rest of his life if those three words weren’t on replay in his head. _I love you._ Cas looked so happy when he said it. Like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He must have been hiding it for a long time, probably afraid of Dean rejecting him. Oh, what Dean wouldn’t give for the chance to tell him he doesn’t need to be afraid. If he could have just one more moment with Cas, just enough time to tell him _I love you too_ , Dean would give up everything for that.

He closes his eyes and everything he sees is Castiel’s face. A tear runs down his face. His legs give out and he falls to his knees, hands balled into fists.

“I’m sorry,” Dean whispers, _“I’m so sorry, Cas”_

He doesn’t know how long he kneels there, but after a while Sam comes and helps him stand up. He leads Dean to the impala and Dean doesn’t even protest when Sam takes the driver’s side. For the whole ride back to the bunker, he just stares out of the window. He sort of zones out, so Sam has to practically drag him inside once they arrive. 

Right now, all Dean wants to do is get blackout drunk and sleep. He makes a beeline for the kitchen, but Sam stops him before he can make it even halfway across the room. Dean turns around and glares at his brother. There are still tears in his eyes.

“What?” he snaps.

“Dean,” Sam says, pointing to the table, “look.”

Dean follows his gaze and stops short. On the table is a yellow post-it note. One Dean is pretty sure wasn’t there when they left. They look at each other and rush over to look at it. Sam moves to pick it up but Dean swats his hand away and leans forward to read it. Sam reads it over his shoulder.

**I know I said I wouldn’t be hands-on, but I like my family complete.  
-Jack**

A sliver of hope starts to grow in Dean’s heart. He pushes it away, afraid of being disappointed and having his heart broken again.

“Sam?” he asks, voice breaking despite his best efforts. “What does this mean?”

Sam looks back at him. “I don’t know.”

Dean’s shaking now. “What do you mean you don’t know? There has to be something—”

“Dean?”

Both brothers freeze at the familiar voice. Dean’s eyes are wide and his mouth drops open. 

“Dean?” the voice calls again, only it sounds closer now.

Sam gasps, gaze frozen on a spot behind Dean. He can hear his own heartbeat going faster and faster. Holding his breath, Dean turns around ever so slowly. Halfway there, he closes his eyes. He’s afraid of what he will see. He’s afraid of what he might _not_ see.

“Dean.”

The voice comes from right in front of him. Dean is trembling, lips quivering. He’s scared that it won’t be real when he opens his eyes. He doesn’t think he could take that. 

A hand grips his. It’s warm, and it feels _real_ and so _familiar_. And suddenly, Dean’s snapping his eyes open. He’s met with blue eyes and dark hair and that _stupid_ trench coat. 

“Cas,” he breathes out, and pulls him into a tight hug.

Cas hugs him back, maybe even tighter. Dean can barely tell. All that’s in his mind is _he’sbackhe’sbackhe’sback._

“Yes,” Cas says.

Dean, even though he wants nothing more than to never let him go, pulls away from the hug. “How?”

“Jack,” Cas says and smiles. “He came and pulled me out of the empty. I woke up back here. Did we—did we win?”

Dean laughs. “Yeah. Yeah, we won. Jack did it, he made Chuck human. We’re free.”

Cas’ smile gets bigger. “He’s amazing.”

Dean gets a little lost in his smile. Why has he never realised how fucking beautiful Cas is? And then he realises something else. This is his second chance. That moment to tell Cas how he feels he wanted to have? He has it now.

“Cas,” he says, taking his hands. “Listen, there’s something I need to say.”

Castiel’s smile wavers a little bit, just for a moment. Dean sees it.

“No, no,” he says quickly. “It’s a good thing, I promise.”

Cas looks a little reluctant, but he nods. “Okay.”

Dean takes a shaky breath. “Okay,” he says. “Uh…well…back when Billie was attacking and you…sacrificed yourself? You said something, and I never reacted to it.”

“You did.” Cas frowns. “You said ‘Don’t do this’.”

“Yeah, but that wasn’t—I was asking you not to sacrifice yourself.” Dean squeezes Cas’ hands. “You told me you loved me. And I was too shocked to respond. I—I couldn’t process it fast enough, and then you were gone and I never got to say it back.”

Cas’ eyes widen and he stares at Dean. “Say… _what_ back?”

Dean swallows down all the doubt and fear. “I love you, too. I’ve loved you for ages, but it took you saying it for me to realise it and I’m so sorry for that. I’m sorry I was too stupid to see what we could have been for years.”

“Dean,” Cas breathes, looking at him with such _wonder_ in his eyes, Dean feels like he could melt from how much he loves him.

“Can I kiss you?” Dean whispers.

Cas meets his eyes and nods just the tiniest bit. Later, Dean won’t remember who actually leaned in first. He won’t remember when he put his arms around Cas’ waist to pull him closer, or when Cas’ hands found their way into his hair. In this moment, the only thing that matters is the fireworks going off in his brain as they kiss, and how something just clicks into place in that moment. It’s like the one thing that has been missing his whole life isn’t missing anymore. After everything he’s been through, after everything _they’ve_ been through, it feels like he’s finally found that one thing making it all worth it.

So this is what being free feels like. Dean never wants to let it go.


End file.
